I was supposed to write another blog post for this week, but given how I’ve been feeling I figured having this out now would be better. From the previous sentence, obviously I’m a planner (or maybe controller is more apt, haha). Typing out a blog post by the seat of my pants qualifies as being “spontaneous” in my book. So spontaneous I’ll be today.
Last night I had the equivalent of about three hours’ sleep. I kept tossing and turning. My mind jumped from topic to topic, idea to idea, and all in a crazy randomness–from what to eat the next day to a worry about an upcoming meeting to the book I was rereading to get to sleep (it was City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare, btw) to the fluffy (or as I like to call them, “foofy”) doggies I saw in our compound a few hours earlier. I couldn’t shut my mind up, it refused to wind down. I woke up sleepy but focused, thank goodness, because I was able to work and handle chores that needed to be handled.
That’s when it hit me: I was so…no, TOO inundated with…stuff. Like, there is SO MUCH stuff I stuff myself with, mentally and emotionally. What with Facebook, Twitter, Feedly, YouTube, and everything else in between, I crowd my brain with so much stuff and overstimulate it that it kinda resembles…I don’t know. Something that runs amok but with its guts overflowing 
(and now, as I’m typing this, a Facebook chat window just popped up)
While a lot of this “stuff” can be considered unnecessary clutter, a good chunk of it really falls under my interests and serves to inspire me. However, now it feels like TOO MUCH inspiration. TOO MANY awesome ideas. TOO EVERYTHING to the point that I feel overwhelmed and have degenerated into overthinking a lot of what I’m doing. Which in turn freezes me from actually MOVING and doing what I want to do.
Case in point: I have TONS of ideas from Pinterest on exercise and eating better, but as of today I’ve yet to actually start a regimen. *blush* I’m frozen in indecision. Then this afternoon I had the random thought of “Oh, frack this. Just grab your mp3 player and GO OUT, Lex.”
I need more moments like those for my controlling, unspontaneous self, lol.
And THEN for a looooong time now I’ve been reading all about productivity: bookmarking blog posts, making Evernote entries, reading and rereading blogs, checking out web apps, etc etc on being more productive and getting things done. In the meantime, I’ve been kept busy doing all these little things for work, but feeling like I’ve accomplished nothing. Then i realized it was also because none of what I was doing had any meaning to me. Or that I was too filled with stuff to filter out what I really wanted to do versus what I felt I had to do.
By that last statement, I don’t mean I won’t fold and sort the laundry just because I don’t want to do it. But a lot of my day-to-day writing work i was doing because I had to. Many of my assignments I couldn’t really change, but I could change how I felt about them. I could put meaning to them if I wanted to. Or I could choose to do something else entirely.
So I just went ahead and chose what I wanted to get done in a day. Following loosely the Get Things Done concept, I had my top three to-do’s up front and center on a digi-post-it on my desktop. I’ve done two of the three, but I’m giving myself a pass and letting go of the disappointment in not doing the third. Tomorrow is another day.
Also, I’m going to log off from the computer early tonight–I realized I spent WAY too much time online (comes with the job), but that I’m at fault for finding just as many online distractions from my online work, lol. There is a lot of things I want to do, and by letting myself get distracted I’m just giving in to the fear of doing it.
Finally, I need some daily quiet time. I realized that with working at home I’d gotten so used to working at any and all hours of the day–and night–that most of the time I crashed into bed exhausted. Or, like last night, I would toss and turn like a beached fish. So I’m giving myself an hour to center myself, quiet down, and empty my mind. I don’t really do meditation, but I do like to ground & center. I’d fallen out of doing that whenever I got stressed.
Aaaand if you’ve gotten this far, thank you! I know my being spontaneous also means not stressing at the organization of this post, haha. Instead, I’ll leave you with some awesome articles that I’d read that–despite all the information stuffing of my brain–I remembered that resonated in my heart. Enjoy 
ETA: This newsletter of Ali Edwards’ just landed in my inbox and I think its message is totally perfect as well. The whole concept of subtraction appeals to my editor heart.
Peppermint’s finding where joy lives in her.
Lynnette’s 2012 Scrapbooking Resolutions.
Ali’s Working Through Creative Fear.
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself.
100 Days with No Goals.
I find myself spending WAY too much time online, as well. Both in the name of ‘business’ and in learning – researching things that interest me, looking up new ways to do things, and not getting about the business of my day for real! Thanks for the post!!
Pinterest is evil. First it sucks up your online time while you look at all the cool stuff, then it sucks up all your offline time while you try to DO the cool stuff. Not that I stop going there.
Haha, I read a lot about productivity and such too but I don’t know that it’s made me more productive. I know my biggest problem is saying no – I tend to be way to ambitious with what I think I can get done and then I’m disappointed and stressed when I realize it’s not possible.
And yes, information can be clutter but it’s virtual clutter which almost makes it worse because we don’t see it building up! The holidays were so nice because it was the first time in a long time that I really unplugged and it made me realize I need to do more of that. But it’s so hard when you work from home because it’s so easy to want to do one more thing in the evening or weekend, especially when it’s something you’re passionate about doing.
Thanks for linking to my post too! So glad you enjoyed it!
::applauding:: WTG on taking the first step, Lex! Sometimes I’m incredibly thankful that I have a full-time 9am-5pm office job, that way I’m pretty much guarantee’d to appreciate my precious on-line time more than if it were available to me all day long. There’s something to be said for logging off too … it can be a challenge, but regardless of what’s just been posted on Pinterest or Twitter, I try to make sure I’m logged off by 10pm (although I’ve just realised it’s now 10:06pm, hahahaha!). Good luck in letting go!
So like. And I definitely find online sometimes too distracting too. But before we solve, we must recognize. Good for you.
Love this post, Lex! I swear I could have written it myself. I’ve been having the same trouble lately, unable to wind down, my brain just keeps going! And it’s for the same reason….there’s just TOO much out there to think about, LOL! Thanks for the links, too. THere are so many wonderful and inspiring people out there, it’s nice to know others out there feel like this, too.